MiniCharmed
by kaytee83
Summary: Mini Madness with the Charmeded Ones! This Time: Piper makes some top-notch nosh. Mmm ears...
1. Paige Gets Screwed... Up (Phew)

I dunno if I'm expecting flames, but you guys know me. A little 'mini' series you might enjoy.  
  
Chapter One: Paige Gets Screwed... Up (Phew)  
  
Paige was wandering about, looking paler than usual. Maybe, just maybe she was replacing Phoebe too, because it was almost like she'd seen the future and knew something bad was gonna happen. To her, if I have anything to do with it.  
Randomly, a random guy jumped out from behind a... tree (though she was in the busy streets of San Francisco, where there weren't any... oh well) and grabbed her. She liked it. Although it was, as I said, incredibly random.  
He dragged her into a field (where'd that field come from???) and poured a bag of flour all over her but mostly down her throat. While Paige was preoccupied with choking, he turned on the meat-grinder (I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S NO SUCH THING) and shoved her through it.   
Paige got all ground up and plopped out of the machine, heavily mutilated. Her stoopid bug-eyes were even more buggy. Nuff sed.  
The random guy ran away.   
"Help me..." she stuttered to a fox who was eying her hungrily. It yelped and ran away in the general direction of the Charmed One's f*ck-off pink mansion. Gasping, the taste of blood rustic in her mouth, Paige flopped onto her cut-up back and waited. It began to rain.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
What's gonna happen? Will the fox get the message to Paige or just get some of his friends round for a nice meal, called Paige? To Be Cremated... I mean, Continued...  
  
  
  
Your ad here: watch charmeded; read panpipe's story; read all 


	2. Prue Gets The Bejesus Scared Out Of Her

Chapter Two: Prue Gets The Bejesus Scared Out Of Her  
  
Prue whistled as she walked down the street. Then all of a sudden, a sabre-toothed tiger jumped out and knocked her over, before sprinting off. Prue leapt to her feet. She'd just had the bejesus scared out of her. I know this, because she then said:  
"Hey! Where's my bejesus!"  
  
The End. 


	3. Piper Has A Good Day

3: Piper Has A Good Day  
  
Piper woke up, ate ice cream while watching Prue beat up Phoebe, before having a good long... health inspection with Leo. Then Cole. Then Leo again. Then Phoebe. Then all three. Prue knew about it, and was sad and lonely cos Piper wouldn't go near her. Piper laughed. Leo brought her chocolate mousse. He gave her a two hour massage. Prue stood on a rusty nail and got rabies (we don't yet know if these two were connected, but probably weren't). Overall, it was a good day!  
  
The End. 


	4. Leo Makes A Mistake

4: Leo Makes A Mistake  
  
Leo crept up behind Piper, spun her around, and gave her a long kiss. He opened his eyes and promptly realised the grinning idiot in his arms was actually... PRUE!  
His scream could be heard in places as far away as Urguay.  
He then tried to commit suicide, but since he was an angel or whatever then no matter what he tried, he couldn't seem to die! He got very depressed and ended up hiding in the bathroom for three months solid. Prue reeeeally needed to pee.  
  
The End. 


	5. Kit Goes For A Walk

5. Kit Goes For A Walk  
  
Kit went for a walk.  
  
The End. 


	6. Phoebe Does Something Cool

6. Phoebe Does Something Cool  
  
The three Charmed Ones were sitting chilling out in front of the TV. Cole came in and began to pretty much give Phoebe one right in front of everyone. Phoebe threw a baseball at Prue.   
  
THAT was the cool thing she did, idiots!  
  
The End. 


	7. Paige Gets Laid... GOTCHA

7. Paige Get's Laid. GOTCHA!!!  
  
Paige picked up the ringing phone.   
"Hello?"  
"Hi Jessica!"  
"Um, I think you have the wrong number..."  
"Oh. Who is this?"  
"Rose McPaige. I mean, Paige. Sorry - came out of character there."  
"Oh. Okay. Well, bye."  
"Bye."  
Paige hung up the phone and walked away.  
  
THE END 


	8. I can't remember the title.

8. A Difficult Sum  
  
Paige mosied into the kitchen where Prue, Piper and Phoebe were reinacting the 'Broom War 2002'.  
"Hey, I have a question," Paige said.  
Prue bopped Piper on the head with the broom the gave it to Phoebe. "Yeah? What is it?"  
"Well, I was just wondering, how many times each of you have actually died?" Paige took the broom off Piper and, being the retard she is and not completely understanding the rules of the Broom War, bopped herself over the head with it.   
The three REAL Charmed Ones called a halt to the 'BW' and rubbed their chins, deep in contemplation. It'd be a long, long time before Paige knew the answer to her question.  
  
THE END 


	9. can't remember. seriously I can't

CHAPTER NINE: Phoebe Is A Dingus  
  
  
Phoebe was sitting on her bed staring at the roof. Paige walked in.  
  
"Get the hell out!" Phoebe yelled and started to TK stuff at Paige.   
  
"Since when did you have telekinesis?" Paige shouted over the barrage of stuff getting chucked at her.  
  
"Since I never told anyone that I DID have an active power, and now I have 2! I can fly!!! And soon I'll have pyro-powers and can blast your ass you fool!"  
  
"You're a dingus" Paige said and left.  
  
There was a pause as Phoebe thought of an amazing comeback. "Yeah?" she screamed at Paige who was now at work, "well, it takes one to know one!" Well, Pheebs, I guess it was the best you could do. Dingus.  
  
TE.  
  
  
  
It's coming guys... oh how it's coming... 


	10. Phoebe Admits Something

Mini Charmed 10: Phoebe Admits!!  
  
Phoebe ran down the stairs and wrapped herself in a friendly sort of way around Piper, who didn't flinch at this sisterly affection.  
  
"Piper, I gotta tell you something," Phoebe wailed.   
  
"Pheebs, you can tell me anything," Piper said, more out of routine than genuine concern.  
  
"I... I'm a lesbium," Phoebe cried, clinging onto Piper's now rigid body, "and I'm in love with you!!!"  
  
Piper tried to blow her up but failed. She then began to run cos Phoebe was trying to kiss her. 


	11. KT... does... a tree? No, Piper Buy Cact...

as Babyblugoddess7389 requested...  
  
  
KT walked along the street and saw a tree...   
  
"Woah... that tree is sweet..." a dribble of drool trailed down her chin. And suddenly, she jumped on it and began... well, I'll leave that to you guys.  
  
* * *  
  
Meanwhile, Piper had just bought a cactus.  
  
"Oh, Piper! That's cool!" Phoebe shrieked when Piper brought it home.  
  
Piper smiled and jibbed Paige with the plant-jibbing instrument.   
  
End.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/Ns... the second one is important  
  
  
1. Babyblugoddess7389, if you wanna diss my stories so much, why do you keep reading them? However, I DO thank you for your reviews, they make me (and Steph) smile!  
  
2. If anyone has been paying attention to my rambling about the thing which is coming soon, I can't post it without your help. Can anybody pleeeeeeease give me directions as to how to post a document with italics, bold, tabs (you know, the button underneath the 1 on the keyboard - tab is ESPECIALLY imposrtant) cos it'd make my... story... SO much better and more understandable. If anyone knows, review me or email me @ kaytee83@hotmail.com  
  
3. BAM! Bitch went dahn! Bam! Prue! Superbitch! 


	12. Paige Gets A Shock

Mini Charmed... 12?: Paige Gets a Shock  
  
Paige was really homo. I mean, tired. She went into her bedroom and found Piper and Leo... um... you know on her bed.  
  
"Oh my God!" she gasped and dropped her glass of cocoa-milk, thoroughly shocked.  
  
  
THE END.  
  
  
  
  
  
Answer this you bastards if you want to see my latest and greatest story!!! Hurry!!!  
  
If anyone has been paying attention to my rambling about the thing which is coming soon, I can't post it without your help. Can anybody pleeeeeeease give me directions as to how to post a document with italics, bold, tabs (you know, the button underneath the 1 on the keyboard - tab is ESPECIALLY imposrtant) cos it'd make my... story... SO much better and more understandable. If anyone knows, review me or email me @ kaytee83@hotmail.com 


	13. Fryday The Thirteenth

Number 13: Friday The 13th  
  
  
Piper stood in the kitchen, the pan she was holding over the cooker sizzling away.  
  
Phoebe walked in.  
  
"Man! Piper! That must be like the thirteenth fry-up in a row you've made! It's like, every day!"  
  
"Yep," Piper smiled, "cos it's Fry-day the Thirteenth!"  
  
FIN.  
  
  
  
  
Feel free to sound the drum roll yourself!  
  
And now for the obligatory plea for help (I'm not gonna stop posting this until someone replies):  
  
If anyone has been paying attention to my rambling about the thing which is coming soon, I can't post it without your help. Can anybody pleeeeeeease give me directions as to how to post a document with italics, bold, tabs (you know, the button underneath the 1 on the keyboard - tab is ESPECIALLY important) cos it'd make my... story... SO much better and more understandable. If anyone knows, review me.  
  
OR it will NOT happen. And I (and you) know you want it - especially if you're a fan of Charmeded COS it's a Charmeded special feature! Oh yes it is!!! 


	14. Prue Receives A New Power. Woo!

Number 14: Prue Gets A New Power  
  
  
Prue thought and thought.  
  
Then a lightbulb appeared over her head. Leo orbed in.  
  
"New power?" he said, a sentence which was fast becoming his catchphrase. He orbed out.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Wow never seen that one before!  
  
Scream 4...0 has finally been rewarded with a new scene, all you little pedal pushers can check it if you want.  
  
Am still looking for help with that goshdarn new thing I'm on about. God damn.  
  
If none of you are helping (except Jewel, whose help, while greatly appreciated, didn't really... help) I might be compelled to tell you what it is to motivate you, or just to keep it to myself for ever and ever. So there! 


	15. Prue Smiles

Number 15: Prue Smiles  
  
Prue smiled.  
  
  
FIN.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Quistis (you demon, you) I don't have IM but I have msn mess. If ya got it add me to yo list. Mon email est kaytee83@hotmail.com  
A/N: Well then nth. Are you saying I don't move you? How about this time's story? Imagine that glorius smile on the paigeriffic Prue! You're saying that don't move you?  
  
Yeah, you're right. Me neither...  
  
A/N: I'm just an A/N-a-holic!!!  
  
A/N: Hey if we wanna do a chatroom, everyone join MSN and we'll go into a huge conversation with like 20 people!!! Wooo! Let the good times rolls! *logs onto msn. no one is online...*  
  
Thanks for your reviews buddees! 


	16. Let Me DEMONstrate A Role-Reversal

Number 16: Let me DEMONstrate a role reversal.  
  
  
Prue skipped into the kitchen wearing her wooly pink hat. "La la la idium," she sang.  
  
Phoebe looked up from the wall she was staring at. "Prue! Shoosh! I'm *trying* to stare aimlessly at this small crack in the wall! She picked at the material of her blue top, coupled with a pair of jeans.  
  
Piper entered lavishly, wearing a Ms. Hellfire-esque leather bra and trousers. She began taking photos of everyone.  
  
Everybody at fanfiction stared at them.  
  
And all shouted. "What the f*ck? Prue skipping about in a wooly pink hat? Phoebe wearing clothes and staring at walls? Piper being a slut?!?! What is this - backstage at Charmed?"   
  
Nobody got it. Not even me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: La la la... heyho!  
A/N: You guys rock, I love you all!  
A/N: Man I love A/N-ing!  
A/N: It'd sure be great if someone emailed me about tabs so I could get my new AMAZING project up here... I have hinted a teeny bit about what it is, and I told you it was something to do with Charmeded... but if you want the brand new series of Charmeded to come here, I *have* to post this first! So this is totally in your court. Mwa ha ha... I can read it all I want! It's stored on my magick disk! Woo! Charmeded... Charmeded The M***C*L (that was a clue by the way), and the even brander newer thing which is WAY cool and WAY funny! Like, stupendously funny! And you're all missing out la la la.  
A/N: Gotta A/N a few more times to make the amount of A/Ns bigger than the story.  
A/N: Hey, I have my exams soon but I'm in a helluva good mood! I've been all inspired and stuff, been writing so much stuff. Stories, songs... gotta love them songs... mmm MUSICtastic.  
A/N: In the last A/N, there was yet another clue. I think it's pretty obvious now.  
A/N: I think I've done enough now!  
A/N: YOU ALL KICK ASS!  
  
Love, KT. 


	17. Paige Gets A Date...?

Number 17: Paige Gets A Date...  
  
  
"Aii!" Paige yelled, "I have a date... stuck in my teeth!"  
  
She tried to get the offending piece of fruit out with a screw driver but all that acheived was that she sliced up her gums.  
  
Everyone, including Kit, laughed. 


	18. CanIdium?

Canidium?  
  
"You're such an idium!" Piper concluded. She'd been listing everything she'd hated about Paige for a good 37 hours now.  
  
Paige's eyes hit the floor. "Actually," she said slowly, "I am an idium."  
  
Piper clapped her hands. "See, what did I tell ya?" she said to Phoebe and Leo. Who glared at her, cos they were currently makin babies. Yes, in the same room.  
  
"CANidium," Paige fnished.  
  
Everyone stopped and stared. "You're Canadium? And now Americum like us buffoons?" they chorused.  
  
Paige nodded. "Well, actually it's called 'CanIdium'."  
  
"Then she can't really be our sister!" Piper yelled and Prue orbed in. Everyone hugged and high fived. Except Paige, of course.  
  
  
  
  
  
Thanks to: Silver Hjordis (some lunatic) for her word: Canidium. Cool! 


	19. Phoebe Solves Her Problem

Numero 19 (wow - 19!!!): Finally Phoebe Does Something About That Problem  
  
  
Phoebe rolled on some deoderant.  
  
Then everyone came within fifty feet of her again. Problem solved!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I.E the musical - told you it was worth it!!! 


	20. The Queen of Them All

MINI-CHARMED 20: THE QUEEN OF THEM ALL.  
  
  
  
Phoebe suddenly disappeared.  
  
And reappeared in a pleasant-looking place where elves and imps frolicked and laughed. She wanted to join in. But something took her hand. It was a small green goblin-type thing. Phoebe could tell it was phoemale *drum roll* by looking at it's nipp-eyes.  
  
"We want you to be our Queen," it said in a twittery voice. "The Queen of Lesbania!"  
  
Phoebe hummed and hawed (literally) in deliberation.  
  
The phoemale green goblin-type thing held up a woolly pink hat. "This would be your crown and you woul-"  
  
Phoebe stood on the phoemale green goblin-type thing in her haste to accept Queenship.   
  
And she lived Happily Ever After as Phoebe: Queen of Lesbania.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
  
  
A/N: It has been brought to my attention that I must tell all you readers that this storyline is completely ficticious and doesn't resemble real life in anyway. *Hears gun being taken off safety, gulps* Alyssa Milano does not endorse the idea of becoming Queen of Lesbania or indeed any part of the Lesbania monarchy, because of "personal issues" they have raised with her. *quickly* The only thing she likes is WPH! *is shot*  
A/N: This is Alyssa. I killed KT for her rudeness. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine - she's with Proo now. What does WPH mean?  
A/N: WPH = Woolly Pink Hats.  
A/N: KT isn't really dead, wasn't shot and especially by not Alyssa Milano, who has no idea KT exists. Probably. Unless she's not high when she does Charmeded. Which I doubt she is.  
A/N: Lesbania needs a new Queen after their last one left under mysterious circumstances - if you see a woman (blonde/brunette - it varies, slutty, lesbium and interested in incest) wearing a woolly pink hat, please report it to the Lesbania authorities as Lesbania would very much like it's royal 2000 year old crown back. If you think you can hack being the new and improved Queen of Lesbania (with more lesbium incest than you can shake a stick at and the introduction of Necrophila as taught by Piper), contact Chief Constable Leprechaun as 0800-LESBIUM-SLUTS. Thank you.  
A/N: Thank you Olly. Without your insight and vision, Lesbania wouldn't be the joyous place it is today. May Astral Prue be with you. 


	21. Piper, blahdeblah

Number TWENTY ONE!!!: Piper Does Something!  
  
  
Piper glanced in the mirror, her face a mixture of fear and uncertainty. Would Leo really approve of her 'kerazy' dress for tonight? He had suggested it, but still - it was so out of character!  
  
Leo orbed in and his eyes almost popped out in astonishment. "Wowo Piper!"  
  
"Is it too much?" Piper asked timidly.   
  
Jeans and a GREY top!?!?!  
  
  
  
THE eNd.  
  
  
A/N: Izzie - are you SEER-IOUS that a girl at your bus stop wears a woolly pink hat!?! You HAVE to steal it or get a picture of it! I must see! Or I might die. Hey - it's not Milano herself, is it???  
A/N: Izzie - it's not YOU is it? Cos if it is, don't take offence that I... um... have this 'thing' about WPH (woolly pink hats, p'idiums) and I'll be scared that you'll hunt me down and kill me by means of shoving WPH's down my throat until I meet my maker (AP!)  
A/N: What did you think of this... weeks... mini charmed? Pretty kerazy of me, huh? SO out of character for our darling dear'est Pipe-Player!  
A/N: Curses...  
A/N: La la la this is getting boring...  
A/N: Oh yeah this MC (mini-charmed - feel free to curse me and my abbreviations) is special for lil defunct who wanted a Piper storyline. Altogether now awwww. See how nice Master KT is? I must be some sort of Queen!  
A?N: Lesbania has a new Queen! Piper, or charmedangel, has offered her services. She must clearly be kerazy cos she is willing to join in on all the lesbium incestuous necrophilious activities that go on there - without the added benefit of her won WPH!  
A/N: Of anyone has spotted the WPH that was stolen from Lesbania, remember to give us a call - this means YOU Izzie, you seem to have located Lesbania's beloved crown! Well done! 


	22. Paige Does Something Koowell

NUMBER 22 (OMG!): Paige Does Something Koo-well!  
  
  
Paige was cruising about online, and she came across the fanfiction website. She read many cool stories about herself and co, and clicked on the review button.   
  
"What the..." she muttered. The goddamn reviews weren't working! How on earth was she to tell the authors how koowell they were? She tried several times, but each time was a complete failure. "Khaa!" she hissed. "Fanfiction is clearly bent at this moment in time."  
  
Angered, she picked up the laptop she was using and began smashing it all over the place.  
  
"Hey! That's mine!" Feebee screamed as she came in and saw what Paige was doing.  
  
Paige glared. "Ah so, mon lonelito!" she yelled and threw the smushed up computer at Phoebe, breaking her sister's... hair.  
  
  
THE END.  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Guess what THIS was a jab at! Goddamn ffn... Sorry to everyone who's stories I read but I didn't review, I'll do my best to come back and find you and give you reviews cos I'm just that nice.  
A/N: KT has her own web-paige! Go onto my profile (come on - it's not THAT hard!) and click on my name to go there for 'lyssie' bashing madness! It's called "Charmed-O-Rama... how could you resist??  
A/N: La la la wow the musical sure is lagging in the review department... So what?!? I need an ego boost ever now and now! Goddammit... ungrateful swines... 


	23. Phoebe Gets What She Deserves

Mini-Charmed 23: Phoebe Gets What She Deserves  
  
  
Phoebe was randomly walking along the street when she saw a big grey cat sitting on a wall across the street.   
  
"Oooh!" she squealed, and made her way towards it.  
  
After having been hit intentionally by about 12 cars, Phoebe was at it's side.   
  
"Nice kitty," she croaked (the cars had beat her good, she was on her last legs), and began to stroke the soft fur on it's back.  
  
Looking into it's green eyes, Phoebe fell in lubb with it's ultimoso coolness.   
  
Of course, that was before the cat turned around and slashed her up good for touching it. Phoebe died. Nobody cared.  
  
FIN.  
  
  
  
A/N: Thanks to Olly for telling me to do this one... for giving me the idea about the cat.  
A/N: Thanks to Steph cos she is in the msn chat too and will feel left out if I thank Olly and not her. 


	24. Doors Open How?

Number 24: How Do You Open Doors?  
  
  
  
It was a lovely stormy day at the Halliwell manor.  
  
Phoebe was in the attic, and Paige and Piper were making their way upstairs to join her. Paige walked into the attic door with a crack. "Ow!" she cried in pain.  
  
Piper looked at her. "See that handle down there? You turn it."  
  
"Oh!" Paige said, as if what Piper had told her was a new concept completely. Gripping the handle warily, she twisted it and lo and behold! The door swung open. "Kick."  
  
After that, Paige was going down the stairs when 'accidently' AP (Astral Prue) appeared and pushed her downstairs. Piper laughed silently from the kitchen  
  
  
TE  
  
  
  
A/N: This story is dedicated to Mari to cheer the little ho up.  
A/N: It's also dedicated to her because oh yeah she wrote it!  
A/N: Thank you to Amber for her review. Flames are much appreciated, they always make me laugh. Cheers Amber! Stop by again! 


	25. AOD mistake blah blah

A/N: Just saw the season 4 finale here in the UK so... here is my take on the final scene... what I thought about and how I laughed. The final scene being where Piper finds out she is having that goddamn baby *mutters bad words and the word 'baby' in the same sentences*.  
  
  
  
  
Number 25: The Angel of Destiny Makes a Mistake  
  
  
  
"Blah blah blah doesn't affect your and Leo's personal destiny, Piper," the AOD (Angel of Death... keep up you fools!) said. He pointedly looked at Piper's stomach and turned away.  
  
Phoebe started squealing like a fool, shortly followed by Paige.  
  
"What is it you idiums?" Piper cried, delivering smart slaps to each sister.  
  
"You're pregnant!" Phoebe squeaked, her voice higher than we ever though possible. Piper replied by squealing and crying and they all jumped about like little toothless freaks (don't ask where that came from).  
  
The AOD turned around with a nervous "No, no, no, that's not what I meant!"  
  
The COs' faces fell. Piper looked terrified. "Well what... is it?"  
  
"Why you and Leo's impending divorce, of course," he said matter-of-factly and disappeared. Then he came back. "He and Phoebe have an affair, because she is trying to steal him from you, of course." Then he was gone again.  
  
With a blood-thirsty expression, Piper jumped on Phoebe and began beating her. Beating her good, right Steph?  
  
Paige joined in. What else was there to do around this deadbeat place other than flash herself to the builders outside? Speaking of...  
  
"I'm just going out for some fresh air," Paige said, unbuttoning her weird white dress type thing and hurrying outside.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: What a long mini-charmed!!! That must be over a hundred words! 


	26. Leo DOes Bad Things

Number 25: Leo Does Bad Stuff  
  
  
Leo shimmered in. He sneaked around, and stole several grapefruits. Then he flamed out.  
  
That thievin whore!  
  
  
  
  
A/N: *shrugs* 


	27. Paige Starts Fresh

Number... um... what number is it now?: Noname  
  
  
  
One day Paige realised that life in the manor, well, it sucked. So she caught a train to Honalulu (don't ask how) and started a new life there as a chukacabra (don't tell me if I spelt it wrong, I'm sure I did).  
  
And it was very successful! 


	28. la la la idium

MINI CHARMED 26  
  
THE UNIMPORTANCE OF BEING PHOEBE  
  
  
"Hi, I'm Phoebe," announce the whore herself to some random passers-by. They ignored her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Ahh... that's more like the MC we all know and lubb! Time to make the A/N longer than the story itself... oh, that was easy!  
  
But in all seriousness, a special news bullitin has miraculously appeared in front of mine eyes. Our beloved QueeM, The Almighty Miss Stephanie Eighteen; aka Stephanie18 you dimwits! Is threatening to... to abandon us! Yes, that's right, my demon buddee and the writer of epics When She Was Evil and the ingeniously names When She Was Evil II is considering taking her leave! Don't let her! Come on, I say we go and mass review or email or pester in any way we can. Steph is one of the best writers here. You know it. Make sure she does too.  
  
Well that was odd.   
  
More Mini Madness soon! 


	29. Bloody Hell! Chapter 29?

Mini-Charmeded Number AP Only Knows What Number: The Obligatory Christmas Edition  
  
  
  
Piper stomped around in her Santa suit. She slung her sack of 'cole' (wow in with the jokes already KT!) over her other shoulder and attempted to feel the Christmas spirit envelop her. It didn't. So she tried some hearty laughter instead. "Ho ho ho," she chortled, wondering what Father Christmas always seemed to find so funny.  
  
Rather than do the obvious "Piper says 'ho ho ho' and Paige and Phoebe say 'what?'" 'fantastic' joke, I'll give you this punchline:  
  
Suddenly Piper got whacked with a 2 by 4. Yes, a great dirty plank of wood.  
  
Phoebe and Paige stood over her unconscious body grinning childishly. "Merry Christmas, Freebie," Paige laughed.  
  
"Merry Christmas... Fraige." Phoebe replied, trying to mimic Paige's nickname but failing rather miserably. As usual.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, this is a Merry Christmas from the Mini-Charmeded team, and I hope you all have a pruetastic hollyday!  
  
A/N: To *ominous music* ANONYMOUS! Yes! The phantom flamer! Admittedly... I'm scared. You're being all nicely nice and it's terrifying me. So what do we expect? A new pal from here on in or the return of the ruthless flamer come New Year? Well, no matter how it plays out, have a great holiday and feel free to make any comments you want, good or evil, in the future. I can always trust you to give my day some meaning! That makes me sound really quite sad, doesn't it? ... never mind that last part. Anyways, I'm chatting to Kit-The-Cat online and we both want to wish you a Merry Christmas! See? That damn ho can be nice too. Ain't life grand? Oh I have a question - are you a male or female? Cos we usually refer to you as 'it'. Which, if you're happy with, we can call you 'it' all day. And night. Wowo your A/N is bigger than the whole story (scrunched up) and probably more entertaining which says a lot for my writing skill. I've been doing this for a full five minutes now, time to stop.  
  
HAVE A CHARMEDED CHRISTMAS GUYS! 


	30. Phishy Madness

Mini-Charmeded Twenty-Something.  
  
The One That Got Away  
  
  
Feebee was phishing phor phun and phood when she caught a helluva big phish... it was huge! It was about the size of Shannen Doherty's stallion - ie pretty damn impressive. Anyways, feebee had phished phor phun and phished well. The phish was phantastic.   
  
But it slapped her in the phace with it's phishy phish-tail and swam away phast. Real phast. Shame.   
  
  
  
  
*this is not an advertisement*  
  
*this is*  
  
Voice Over: Do you remember this?  
  
PIPER, PHOEBE AND PAIGE ARE STANDING IN A ROW.  
  
PHOEBE: *squealing* You're pregnnnnnnannnnnnt!  
  
*  
  
COLE: I love you Phoebe. I'm never letting you go.  
  
*  
  
ANGEL OF DESTINY: I am the Angel of Destiny.  
ALL: OooOOOoooOOoo.  
  
*   
  
PAIGE: I love you guys.  
  
VOICE OVER: No? Good! That was Charmed, this is Charmeded! Do you remember THIS!?!  
  
PRUE: What's brown and sticky?  
  
SILENCE.  
  
*   
  
PRUE IS LYING ON THE GROUND, HER SISTERS AROUND HER.  
  
PIPER: Wait - that means she's... she's... dead...  
PHOEBE: Dead?  
PIPER: Prue! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
*  
  
PAIGE: Can I go back to cowering in the cupboard again?  
  
*  
  
VOICE OVER: Well if you don't remember, you better! Charmeded: The Show That's Almost Charmed But Not Quite SERIES FOUR is here on Thursday! That's two - count em - two days away!   
  
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! 


	31. Shame

Paige and Phoebe sitting up a tree.  
  
Paige dies. 


	32. Bam! Bitch Went Dahn! Way dahn

Paige was watching Scream. For some reason, she really felt it when Tatem died. Bam! Bitch went dahn!  
  
With a sly look on her face, Piper entered and told Paige that they now had a garage and would Paige like to test out the new cat door?  
  
Paige agreed. 


	33. A Pheeble Vacation

Dedicated to Klah.  
  
*  
  
Mini-Charmed AP Knows What Number: Phoebe's Vacation  
  
Phoebe went to Texlum.  
  
The End. 


	34. QTip?

A/N: For those that asked, Charmeded S4 was deleted before the finale aired. You can find the finale here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1330383 (paste it)  
  
Mini Charmed Thirty-Something: Q-Tip?  
  
Phoebe was out and about whoring it up when suddenly Prue jumped out with a giant Q-Tip and started beating her Gladiator stylee. Then Paige ran around in twelve circles, each time with a different outfit screaming: "Woohp! I'm famous!" before Prue put an end to that infernal racket... oh how she did.  
  
The End. 


	35. Mmm ears

Mini-Charmed 9374758974837: Oh. My ear. It fell off.  
  
Piper was in the kitchen cutting... food. She was trying to be cool, throwing the knife in the air, letting it spin around, then catching it again before gettin' dahn to some major choppage. UN-fortunately, she tossed it up once more and it was a little off balance. Oh. Dear.   
  
Next thing she knew, her ear had been added to the casserole she had been making.   
  
"Oh well," she enthused, "that makes five ears in my ear casserole!"  
  
"WHAT?" yelled Phoebe and Paige simultaneously. 


End file.
